Starry's Theory of The Perfect Tuna Sandwich

*recycled from my main blog!

Preamble: Starry is a part feline pixie, therefore her words are true. Who else would know best about a tuna sandwich other than a cat? Besides, Starry will not tolerate insubordination and will zap any living being to smithereens if they mock/ridicule/question Starry's theory. If they don't like it... they can go formulate their own theories and leave Starry alone.

The Rules to Making the Perfect Tuna Sandwich.

1. Tuna sandwiches should use two slices of lightly toasted bread.
2. Low fat mayo is a must.
3. 2 slices of low fat cheese is another.
4. And lets not forget dolphin safe tuna in SPRINGWATER. Not oil. Not brine. SPRING WATER.
5. If you can't get any salad for your sandwich, at least get sweet spiced gherkins.
6. After chucking drained tuna in a bowl, add a few teaspoons of the water used to preserve the sweet gherkins. This gives the tuna a little tang, and a unique sweetness.
7.Then add mayonnaise. The mixture should not be too sloppy.
8. Add pepper if you wish. Best pepper to use will be a mixed blend. And should be freshly ground.
9. Put a slice of cheese on bread. Then the tuna. Then sliced gherkins. Then cheese. Then slice gherkins again. And lastly the bread.
10. Cut into 4.
11. Eat up!

There. Now you know how to make the perfect tuna sandwich. Here's how to make the perfect sticky date pudding..

1. Buy Sara Lee's sticky date pudding, cut a slice and pop it in the microwave.